Cassette Roulette: Taylor Swift's 1989, the Way It Should Have Been

Image for article titled Cassette Roulette: Taylor Swift's 1989, the Way It Should Have Been

You love the album. Well, most of it. Cassette Roulette is a new series where we fix it for you.


1. "Welcome to New York"

Horrible. Just terrible. I don't even want to write these words because it's so bad. This track almost prevented me from enjoying the rest of the album. We will never speak of it again.

2. "Blank Space"

It wasn't the second single off 1989 for nothing.

3. "Style"

This song has the exact perfect beat to jauntily walk down the street to, fight me, I will win.

4. "Out of the Woods"

If Ethan Frome was remade in 2015, this track would be featured prominently in the commercial, which makes it a-ok in my book because Edith Wharton is perfection.


5. "All You Had to Do Was Stay"

All you had to do was have me play this song a dozen times and I was hooked.

6. "Shake It Off"

If I didn't like "Shake It Off," "Shake It Off" wouldn't give a fuck so you have to like "Shake It Off" because it's too cool to care. Those are the rules.


7. "I Wish You Would"

There is a sense of urgency to this song. Taylor wishes I was here, right now, though it's all good, she still wishes I would. I get it Taylor. I also wish I was right here.


8. "Wildest Dreams"

"You're so tall and handsome as hell." "You see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night, burning it downnn." Word.


9. "Bad Blood"

So low, so high. We've got bad blood. This is 2014 Taylor's version of "Mean."

10. "How You Get the Girl"

Eh. This one can stay. Sort of insufferable but fine. Sounds like the soundtrack to every single Rom Com that came out between 2001 and 2004.


11. "This Love"

Sappy but fine I guess. Doesn't work when I'm trying to jam out these blog posts, you know?


12. "I Know Places"

This song really snuck up on me with its darkness. I imagine Taylor in the woods, hunting, probably with a bow and arrow. It's weird how she moved to the Big Apple NYC and yet I imagine her as a huntress while listening to this album.


13. "Clean"

Eh I guess it can stay. Sort of sick of all this rain pouring down making Taylor clean at this point because it's 4:08 pm on a Friday and I'm pretty tired and this isn't helping keep me awake. But we can't just have bangers all day long, can we? (In a perfect world, yes.)


14. "Wonderland"

This one starts off badly but oh boy does it pick up! I'm awake I'M AWAKEEEE.

15. "You Are In Love"

Am I.

16. "New Romantics"

Idk I don't listen to this song. Pretty bad one to leave things off with. Just like it was pretty bad to start 1989 off with that song we won't ever speak of.

Image for article titled Cassette Roulette: Taylor Swift's 1989, the Way It Should Have Been

Note: In this graphic, the names for the tracks "Wildest Dreams" and "Bad Blood" have been switched. Adjust your understanding of the value of each accordingly.


adultosaur married anna on the astral plane