Cardi B and Bernie Sanders Had a Casual Tuesday Night Chat About Quarantine Nails, Socialism

Bernie Sanders and Cardi B hopped on Instagram Live Tuesday night for a chat. Cardi, addressing the Senator as “Uncle Bernie,” opened the stream by screaming, then telling him his nails were looking “very quarantine.” Mine are too! But at least she doesn’t have to see them. Uncle Bernie, braver than me, proudly showed them off:

Cardi then grilled Sanders on his exit from the race. “I don’t know if anybody told you, but the last time I got on Live, I had a fit because I was so hurt and upset that you dropped out of the race and everything. And I be looking on Twitter and Instagram, and I know there’s so much people, like the youth, supports you so. Much.” She then acknowledged the expense of running a campaign, and talked about her disappointment, but said that “I’m just gonna with Joe Biden, because I cannot see the next step of America being ran by 45.” Bernie smiled and nodded, clearly overwhelmed by the energy exuding from her blue wig. Cardi’s chattiness soon switched gears to musing about the recession, coronavirus, and health care workers, and when she can go outside again. (Bernie laughed; my soul died a little bit more.) While the conversation jumped around quite a bit, it also felt refreshingly human—something the presidential race and our last month of social distancing has sorely lacked.

After, Cardi expressed her fears about what a surveillance state in U.S. would look like, should data companies work with the government to begin tracking locations and mobile phone info, as China has done in its effort to contain the spread of coronavirus. Bernie immediately informed her that level of tracking would be a “violation of civil liberties,” but stressed it was imperative to stop the spread. Here, what was left of my soul began to slowly leave my body.

Cardi B’s political analysis is mostly on point—she astutely noted that “a lot of people, like the youth, they don’t really rock with Joe Biden because he’s conservative,” and that Obama chose him precisely because of that. When she asked Sanders to explain to her fans why he endorsed Biden, he reiterated his position that he was always going to endorse the Democratic nominee because “Donald Trump in my mind is the most dangerous president in the history of America,” and that he’s working “with Joe, to see that he becomes a more progressive candidate.”

Cardi also noted that Trump’s response to the shutdown was to prioritize “capitalsm—money, trading, goods—before our health.” In turn, Uncle Bernie touched on the socialist policies he’s still advocating for: continuing paychecks for unemployed workers, nationalizing factories to begin producing important emergency supplies like PPE and masks, as well as ensuring every American has healthcare.

If Amy Pascal or any of those big-wig Hollywood executives are looking for a buddy comedy script involving a stripper turned president and her grumbling senior advisor, I can have a rough draft to you by next week! [Instagram]

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Unfortunately, Barbz, Nicki Minaj is definitely still married to Kenneth Petty. This is despite (ill-founded) reports that a recent name-change on both Instagram and Twitter meant the couple had split. Page Six quotes a source: “Nicki Minaj is still with her man. It’s just business as usual for her highness as she prepares to release new music.” Besides, if you are going to marry a registered sex offender and go through all the trouble to shack up with him, then you probably aren’t just going to break up out of the blue. [Page Six]

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Let’s check in on Britney Spears:

• Lala Kent wants to be on RHOBH, which might be a fun twist, considering the franchise’s deep aversion to things that remind the cast of their age. [People]
• JLo’s wedding is going to be the story we are still reading about this time next year. [Us Weekly]
• How do I opt out of news about Jussie Smollett forever? [Page Six]
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus pivots to climate warrior, which is frankly the honorable thing to do when you’re worth $200 million. [Page Six]
• Charli D’Amelio broke up with Chase Hudson because they’re teenagers. [DailyMail]