Car Movie Spinoff Actor Dwayne Johnson and Lauren Hashian Secretly Married in Hawaii

There was a period of time when Hollywood was reckoning with the cruel reality that men are often parents. Unsure of how to market this uncomfortable realization, they released a spate of movies about ridiculously buff men jobs who had the duty of fatherhood suddenly thrust upon them: The Pacifier, The Game Plan, Daddy Day Care. Anyways! Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and longtime girlfriend Lauren Hashian—who’s relationship itself is a relic of that time—secretly married in Hawaii Sunday. The pair met while Johnson filmed The Game Plan in 2007 and share two kids together, Jasmine and Tiana. In an Instagram post, the Car Movie Spinoff star can be seen wearing off-white slacks and a plain white button up. (A supposed faux pas, but I’ll allow it!)

Johnson previously clarified their marital status last year after entertainment outlets reported they had secretly married. Speaking to Entertainment Tonight, Johnson said:

“I just refer to her as my wife all the time. So a lot of people are like, ‘Oh, did you get married? I’m like, ‘No. Easy. Don’t rush big daddy.’”

Glad to know we’re of the same mind, Johnson! I’m notorious for referring to my husband as “my husband,” even though our wedding is still a few months off. I’d claim it was a revolutionary act, but we both know it’s our unwillingness to reckon with the overcomplicated ceremony and its many confounding rituals. [People]

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Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber have undoubtedly seen The NeverEnding Story more times than is probably healthy for any two people. Consider the film’s message. Stories and people live on in our hearts in the retelling. (A simplification, but who has the time to sit through a lecture?) Like the story of Bastian, Atreyu, Falkor, and the Empress—the Bieber’s oft cancelled second wedding is a never-ending quest against the dark forces plaguing their marriage. Thankfully, a ray of light has pierced the darkness and announced a tentative plan for “sometime next month.” Hope at last! TMZ reports:

Sources close to the couple tell TMZ … they’re eyeing a date in September for close friends and family to help celebrate their marriage. The timing shouldn’t come as much of a shock, since they got hitched last Sept. 13 at an NYC courthouse. The shindig could serve as both an anniversary and wedding party.

If they’re looking to stay on theme, Reformation undoubtedly sells a variety of stand-ins for The Empress’ fantastic fit. As for wedding invites, sources claim that they should be expected within the week. Who should I speak to about securing one? [TMZ]

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• Did you know that Katharine McPhee is married to David Foster? If not, here she is to remind you! [ET]
• Miley Cyrus and Kaitlynn Carter were spotted with Tish Cyrus in Los Angeles. [Page Six]
• Experts “claim” that William and Kate were worried about Meghan long before her wedding to Harry. [Us Weekly]
• A$AP Rocky fans found themselves chanting “Fuck Sweden!” at Blockfest Festival. [The Blast]
• Kim Kardashian would do anything for Paris Hilton. [Us Weekly]