For those of you who were hoping for a classic celebrity knockout between Candace Cameron Bure and JoJo Siwa (ok fine, I wanted to see the brawl), I am disappointed to report that Bure has delivered the tea in a Tuesday Instagram video, and the tea is rather lukewarm and uncaffeinated.
After the 19-year-old former Dance Moms phenom posted a TikTok video claiming Bure was the “rudest” celebrity she’d ever met, speculation swirled regarding where the alleged microaggressions had taken place. But Bure, 46, has now revealed that she spoke to Siwa on the phone Tuesday and discovered the squabble—which she claims she does not remember—went down at the Fuller House red carpet premiere when Siwa was just 11 years old. Siwa, meanwhile, has not publicly commented on the situation or issued an official apology (nor should she have to).
Bure opened her self-proclaimed episode of Candace’s Car Chronicles: Special Edition by expressing how distraught she was over Siwa’s disdain for her—nevermind the plethora of reasons readily available, like Bure’s pension for selling golden “One Step Closer” Bibles on QVC, debating Whoopi Goldberg on The View in 2016 as she defended forced births because “the child has no voice…someone has to have a voice for them,” or Bure’s current employment at “Trump adjacent” Hallmark Channel rival Great American Country Media (GAC). In clear desperation, Bure claimed she’d asked her publicist to contact Siwa’s manager, DMed Siwa directly, and reached out to a mutual friend in hopes of being connected to the singer.
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During the alleged call, Bure says she told Siwa she was “shocked” to see her photo in the TikTok video. According to Bure, when asked what had happened between them, Siwa demurred, saying she “didn’t think this was gonna go viral” and didn’t want to tell Bure the real story, considering it was “so silly, she felt bad.” Bure claims she pushed Siwa further, referencing their past meeting on The Kelly Clarkson Show, to which Siwa supposedly told Bure that Republican DJ Tanner aka “Sister in Christ” was “super nice.”
Finally, Siwa revealed to Bure that she had asked the actor for a photo at Full House’s Netflix reboot premiere, and Bure had responded “not right now,” only to take photos with other individuals on the carpet. “I kind of broke your 11 year old heart,” Bure says she told Siwa, as she apologized profusely. “I feel crummy.” Bure added that, as a mother, she felt particularly bad for Siwa and her mom because, “I know if anyone crosses my kids, mama bear comes out.”
After Bure claims the two ironed the feud out—with Bure gushing over Siwa’s positivity, and Siwa allegedly telling Bure she still falls asleep watching Full House—the anti-abortion misinformation peddler took a moment to teach her followers a lesson: to be mindful. “No matter how many followers you have, even a ten-second trending TikTok video can do damage. Because our words matter and our actions matter…we all influence the people around us,” she said in a sermon no one asked for. Bure continued by hyping her book, which is hilariously called Kind Is the New Classy.
Although an endless bastion of positivity, rainbows, and bows of puzzling sizes, Siwa is not above a petty party, and, generally, where there’s a petty Siwa, there’s a dickwad responsible. In the same TikTok video, for example, Siwa held up a photo of SpongeBob as a “celebrity that did me dirty,” likely referring to Nickelodeon refusing to invite Siwa, who was nominated for an award, to the Kids Choice Awards after she came out as queer and chopped her hair into a sapphic bob. So, although Bure says the dustup is water under the bridge, I’m not fully buying it.
Anyways, here’s JoJo giving zero fucks about what Candace does or does not do with her life, as she glued hundred of gems to her face to look like a minion:
- Disgraced former CNN reporter Chris Cuomo has started his new anchor gig at NewsNation. The Cuomosexuals are shaking with embarrassment. (New York Post)
- Actor Casey Wilson dished on how she avoided chatting “Free Britney” gossip while filming a sex scene with Sam Asghari for a Showtime show. Good job? (Page Six)
- Joseph Quinn, the Stranger Things star who played Eddie Munson, made his late night debut on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and was extraordinarily hot. Doja Cat probably watched and had sex dreams about him. (Popsugar)
- Vanessa Lachey claimed Love Is Blind doesn’t feature diverse body types because contestants are too “insecure.” Ma’am, have you thought about why they might be insecure? (Buzzfeed)
- Ashton Kutcher said he didn’t have any friends while shooting Punk’d. I’m sorry? (Us Weekly)