Canadian Competiton Bureau Unwraps Chocolate Price-Fixing Conspiracy

Just when you thought the FBI, NSA and Verizon-teamed privacy infringement was the most egregious overstepping of The Man on citizens’ rights, Nestlé, Mars and Hershey manufacturers in Canada have apparently been conspiring to fix the price of their chocolate products.

Nestle and Mars execs were handed criminal charges today after a 5-year-investigation into the illegal activities was completed, citing multiple meetings between the companies and the handing off of envelopes with price quotes from one to the other. (While it is wildly innacurate, I am picturing that Breaking Bad montage where Jesse Pinkman goes on an all-night meth dealing run to the music of the Charlie Steinmann Orchestra.)

Hersheys is fully complying with the authorities and the Canada’s Competition Bureau is recommending that it receives lenient treatment. “Price-fixing is a serious criminal offence and today’s charges demonstrate the Competition Bureau’s resolve to stop cartel activity in Canada.” (CHOCOLATE CARTELS.) (I can’t believe I spent 6 minutes of my life doing that.) The accused face up to $10 million in fines and individual prison sentences of up to 5 years.

“Unwraps.” See what I did there? Get it? Like, unwrapping a chocolate bar. PROFESSIONAL WRITING.

‘Mars, Nestle and Hershey accused of chocolate price-fixing conspiracy in Canada’ [NBC News]