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Police in northwestern Germany have recovered thousands of ecstasy tablets worth around $45,900 shaped to look like our bloated yet chalky leader, Donald Trump. Can you picture yourself under any circumstances putting Trump’s head in your mouth?

The Associate Press reports that the officers of Osnabrueck found the pills, along with a big chunk of cash, while searching a car registered in Austria on a local highway. An unnamed 51-year-old man and his 17-year-old son were the only passengers. They claimed they’d been in the Netherlands looking to buy a new vehicle, but didn’t find anything. Both are being held in custody on a judge’s orders. What a terrible trip, in every sense.

I may have had the world’s worst acid trip as a 15-year-old dressed up as David Bowie on Halloween, but I’m absolutely certain that taking ecstasy shaped like Trump would be worse. He would be inside you, running through your system. When you dance, you’re dancing with him in your bloodstream. When you kiss someone (as you inevitably will), they’ll be tasting him dissolved on your tongue.


Don’t do drugs, kids, especially if they’re shaped like someone who gives you nightmares when you’re stone cold sober.