Caffeine-Infused Leggings Are Just Fucking With You

Good Morning America signed up their fearless product-debunking reporter to find out whether leggings with caffeine in them and a Lady Gaga-esque weight-loss egg will actually help to lose weight.

Wearing $50 leggings laced with caffeine for three weeks will supposedly cut inches from your hips and an inch from your thighs. Spoiler alert! Science says otherwise: your body can't spot-reduce the areas of your body that the leggings are touching (you can't even get those kind of results from frequent exercise.) Lytess, the company behind the magic leggings, still claims "you can lose inches," but don't say that they'll assist with any actual weight loss — just "temporary size reduction and smoother skin." So long as it lasts long enough for a day at the beach, amirite ladies?

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Illustration for article titled Caffeine-Infused Leggings Are Just Fucking With You

If special leggings aren't your jam, why not relax in the totally-not-intimidating Slimcapsule instead? The company behind this contraption also won't suggest their product assists with weight loss, and instead tout "inch loss." What, lubing your body up and hopping into a 180-degree pod for no proven reason doesn't sound appealing? Back to the gym with you, then!

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DISCUSSION

drunkexpatwriter
DrunkExPatWriter

The current FTC regulators pretty much won't let you create any ad copy for anything that uses the words "lose weight" or "weight loss." One of the clients I write ads for sells a variety of products and holy shit are the diet pills hard to write ads for because of the insane advertising compliance restrictions. They are cracking down on dick pills too, but that's much easier to get around.

"Your partner will be impressed with your equipment" or "Your partner will notice your manhood" is a fairly easy way to get around the "you can't say it will make their dick big" rule.

But try doing that with weight loss products "Your boyfriend will notice you!" really doesn't get across the right message and "you'll get more dates" sounds like a relationship advice product. What we've reluctantly used with some success is "your friends will be jealous of your body" and "your friends will be talking about your body" - which does generate sales, but we hate having to play off female jealousy issues and would much rather be able to simply say "hey use our product along with the diet and exercise plan we provide and you'll probably lose weight" - but we are not allowed to.