Illustration for article titled Buffoons

Silvio Berlusconi - who argued that the fertility of comatose Eluana Englaro was justification for keeping her alive - has responded to Englaro's death by accusing Italy's more empathetic president of "murder". [Times of London]

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DISCUSSION

Guys, maybe if we put her in really tight jeans, he'll let her die. Hear me out. We've established that some of the powers that be in Italy think if you're wearing tight jeans, a guy can't get them off without your help/consent. If she keeps the jeans on, a guy can't get to her sweet, holy uterus. If he can't get to her uterus, she can't get pregnant. If she can't get pregnant, she's clearly just a mound of flesh who doesn't need to "live."

PROBLEM SOLVED.

Silvio Berlusconi, you're a disgrace to our country(wo)men.