Buckingham Break-In Bungled by Two Bumbling Burglars, Say Bobbies

British police say they’ve arrested two burglars (perhaps of the feline variety?) after a break-in at Buckingham Palace this week. Everybody take a moment to chill the fuck out, because the Queen wasn’t in any danger, because the Queen has one thousand houses on one thousand different plots of land, any one of which may, at any given time, heedless of the revolving Earth, be bathed in sunlight. Still, the break-in at Buckingham is the most serious security breach at the royal residence in the last 30 years.

According to Reuters, a police spokesman said one of the men was found at 10:30 pm in an area of the palace that is open to the public, but he’d apparently scaled a fence to gain entry. He was unceremoniously arrested for burglary, trespassing, and criminal damage, while a second man loafing around outside the gates was arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to commit burglary.

No Royals were home at the time of the supposed burgle. Queen Elizabeth is currently on vacay in Scotland at Balmoral Castle #sorrynotsorry.