Brothel Menu from 1912 Is the Dirtiest Thing You’ll Read All Day

Intrepid feminist blogger Amanda Marcotte tweeted a filthy piece of history early this morning: an old timey (ca. 1912) brothel menu from the famed London fuckery run by Mrs. F.A. Tasse. Among other insights that the menu makes us modern folks privy to, Marcotte notes that the menu should pretty much end all debate “over whether ‘fuck’ was a common word” back in the more tender-hearted 20th century.

That’s because the offerings on this brothel menu are laced with the sort of English slang and profanity that make Guy Ritchie’s earlier gangster movies seem inexplicably charming. For example, the wide-eyed patron of Mrs. F.A. Tasse fuck juice palace has the option of getting a prosaic edge-of-the-bed diddle or “finger fuck, with juice,” to the decidedly exotic “free back scuttle,” during which a woman will rub the male patron’s nuts with a feather while keeping out of his “poop hole” (that little number ran £3.85 in 1912).

For a real gas, visitors might also have tried out the £30.00 “Pinkey’s Special,” which started with some “under fucking” and finished with a goose quill in the customer’s asshole, because only the very classiest sexual encounters end with goose quills in orifices. However, the brothel wasn’t for everyone, as the following end-of-menu disclaimer makes perfectly clear:

No discount for cash. Stink fingers and jerking-off matinees for young men under 21, every Wednesday from 2:30 to 4. Customers must enter with cash in one hand and tool in the other. If you are not a self-starter, stay at home and jack yourself off.