Bro My God, They're Making a Reality TV Show Called Bromans, About Bros Living as Romans

There is an entire ecosystem of British reality TV that drifts across my feed without the finer details really registering. Couldn’t really tell you what Love Island is, for instance. But occasionally something stops me in my tracks. For instance: Bromans, a (real) show about lads living as Roman gladiators.

Watch

Man With Face Blindness has Married Two of World's Most Beautiful Women

00:59

Now playing

Diana Jenkins Probably has Much More Than Cartier in Her Closet

Tuesday 4:25PM

01:00

Now playing

Please Stop Leaking Photos from the Barbie Movie Set

Friday 4:05PM

Basically, it’s a stock photo version of Ancient Rome come to tan, glistening, vivid life!

“Eight 21st century lads are to be transported back to the Roman Empire to see if they can cut it as gladiators,” opened ITV’s announcement, which continues:

The handsome boys will fight it out with help from their loving girlfriends. They may have the muscles but do these lads have what it takes to go down in history? Cameras will follow eight modern day couples as they’re transported to an ancient world where they’ll live and fight like gladiators did 2000 years ago.
Along the way there’ll be blood, sweat and tears. However, only the very best will make it through to the Emperor’s Games where one of them will emerge victorious and take home the Emperor’s gold (which today works out at ‘approximately’ £10,000!).

Save 20%

JSHealth Menopause+ Vitamins

Made to suit your not-so-unique needs
The Menopause+ formula includes a blend of herbs and nutrients to help reduce night sweats, offer tension relief, boost energy, and improve overall well-being.

“The boy’s girlfriends will join them on their journey, helping to train and prepare them for the Games as well as immersing themselves in ancient Roman tasks - from wine making to sculpting.” Honestly, it’s a miracle I am not having a heart attack right now.

Of course, this isn’t the first UK reality program revolving around transporting modern folks to the past. It’s really an entire subgenre. But something like Manor House or The Victorian Slum has a pretty PBS vibe. Bromans looks more street-puking weekend trip to Ibiza. In fact, on a recent appearance on This Morning Britain, cast members explained how it differed from Love Island—described by the Telegraph as a program “in which perma-tanned beauties are challenged to find love in a Mallorcan villa”—which is a pretty good indication that it exists in the same universe of programming. How is this real?

Please please please please please somebody get esteemed classicist Mary Beard to write weekly recaps of this travesty.

In Depth