Bristol Palin Is Trying to Pick a Pointless Fight With Wendy Davis

Today in awful people news: Bristol Palin — America’s mean older sister — has THANKFULLY weighed in on the whole Wendy Davis (non) scandal and accused the Texas politician of being a gold digger, an abortion lover and a terrible mother. Aw, BriBri. You are as cruel as your hair is shiny. Can I hang out in your room????

In a blog post titled Dear Wendy Davis, You Can Have a Job and Kids (I think Wendy Davis already knows that?), Palin wrote:

[Davis] lied about much of her “pulling herself up by her own bootstraps” story. Actually, she found a man to marry her, pay her way through college, and then through Harvard Law School. The day after he paid the last bill, she left him. By the way, she left her kids too. She said, “it’s not a good time for me right now” to be a parent.

Never mind that much of the original story besmirching Davis’ backstory was blown out of proportion and repurposed to serve a right wing agenda (an agenda that, to their credit, many Republicans do not support). Bristol has some shit to talk!

Gosh, children are sooo inconvenient, huh? I’m glad my mother didn’t put motherhood on the shelf when she was elected to City Council, then became our mayor, then Governor. Oh sorry – I mentioned my mother… Have you liberals gone into a tail spin of hate already? Did I lose you?

I know you would rather think about Wendy Davis, so let’s get back to her. She’s more your type of woman. She left her kid, husband, made it into a false “made-for-tv-movie-type-tale” and then demanded that Texans have the right to kill babies. That’s the woman you libs can really get behind!

First of all, Bristol, we liberals LOVE to talk about your mother! One of my favorite things in the world is talking about your mother and no, it doesn’t from a place of hate. It comes out of the same loving impulse that causes me to fondly remember this drunk lady with a crooked wig who I once saw at a 8am in a casino in Vegas. She was a total mess, but was having such a good time and seemed so proud of herself that you sort of had to admire her. Sarah Palin is everyone’s Drunk Lady with a Crooked Wig. Sure, she should probably go home and sleep it off, but instead she keeps going and God bless ‘er for it.

Secondly (and I’m going to continue addressing you directly): Shut the fuck up, you outrageous asshole. You don’t know anything about Wendy Davis’ relationship with her daughters, just like we don’t know very much about your relationship with your son. Maybe Wendy Davis left her girls to go to Harvard (temporarily, mind you — it’s not like Davis is the protagonist in a Bruce Springsteen song) so that she could give them a better life. You probably had a similar logic when you got in the reality TV game. Make some money to support your kids, maybe find your own passion while you’re at it (for Davis, the passion is politics; for you, it’s dancing as a star).

Lastly, how about waiting until Davis’ own daughters weigh in before you condemn her as a bad mother? They have some thoughts and it really seems like they might be the experts on this.