Brett Kavanaugh Fucked Up a Legal Detail in Wild Supreme Court Decision About Voting and Had to Issue a Correction

Illustration for article titled Brett Kavanaugh Fucked Up a Legal Detail in Wild Supreme Court Decision About Voting and Had to Issue a Correction
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Justice Brett Kavanaugh forgot to proofread his homework and as a result, had to tweak his opinion agreeing with the Supreme Court’s rejection of extending the ballot deadline in Wisconsin, which would have allowed counting ballots that were received up to six days after the election. In his concurring opinion of the decision, Kavanaugh cited Vermont as one of the states that had not changed their voting rules, writing, “To be sure, in light of the pandemic, some state legislatures have exercised their...authority over elections and have changed their election rules for the November 2020 election,” also listing Mississippi. “Other States such as Vermont, by contrast, have decided not to make changes to their ordinary election rules including to the election-day deadline for receipt of absentee ballots,” he wrote.


The state of Vermont was not having it and issued a formal statement asking Kavanaugh to “correct the erroneous claim” that Vermont had not made any changes at all to protect voters during the pandemic.

The change was made for the sake of accuracy with “election day rules” now reading “election deadline rules.” If the Supreme Court is looking for new copy editors, I know a few people. [CNN]

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, who low-key admitted to disliking his daughter’s boyfriend on national television, said Thursday during a press conference about the coronavirus that he has rid himself of The Boyfriend. Sort of. Not really. But The Boyfriend is very far away!

It turns out, The Boyfriend is a state trooper who was assigned to Cuomo’s security detail, which is presumably how he first made contact with The Daughter. As we all learned from the classic 1992 film The Bodyguard, love and protection from bodily harm cannot co-exist in harmony. And so, as a result of their relationship, The Boyfriend was no longer allowed to protect The Governor because of rules and regulations.

The Boyfriend filed a formal request to be moved and was sent to Plattsburgh, a city in upstate New York known for its college hockey team (which sucks ass and will never be as good as the SUNY Oswego Lakers, no matter how hard they try). A source close to The Family told the New York Post that The Boyfriend was “transferred to keep him away from the daughter because the governor didn’t like whatever they were doing.” What were they doing?


But fret not: Love is still alive and well. The Boyfriend makes the hellishly long drive to see The Daughter “for dates,” which another source told the Post “further upsets the governor.” The governor’s office claims Cuomo had nothing to do with the relocation, which may be true—but alas, if The Boyfriend ever wants to be The Husband, we may never know what really happened. [New York Post]

  • Dr. Fauci has endorsed a nationwide mask mandate. And he isn’t talking about V for Vendetta masks either. [Forbes]
  • The Christian Post ran dueling op-eds by Joe Biden and Mike Pence to make a case for which old white man running for president is most Godly. [Christian Post and Christian Post]
  • A report from the House Judiciary Committee claims the federal agency that cares for migrant children crossing the border had no idea Trump was separating families. How?? [NBC]
  • The Wisconsin Republican party claims hackers stole $2.3 million from Trump’s re-election fund... [Politico]
  • Susan Collins is being backed by private equity firms. Interesting. [ProPublica]
  • Video evidence has surfaced that there is a wrong way to vote, particularly in Texas. [Twitter]


Mortal Dictata

Hey don’t have a go at Brett, he was out last night with Dave and Skinny, chug-a-lugging those beers.