Breaking: Millennials Still Living with Parents, Still Cool with It

Ah, another day, another trend piece about how basically everybody between the ages of 18 and 34 is an indolent jerk unwilling or unable to fully fledge and leave the parental nest, where things like premium cable and assorted breakfast cereals can be had for the price of awkward mealtime conversations about life choices and self loathing. Millennials, in case you haven’t heard, are choosing to live at home in record numbers, and they’re not even horribly embarrassed about it anymore. For shame!

Living at home, according to a fore-sure reliable survey from Coldwell Banker, is (if you’re lucky enough to have such an option) becoming such a culturally acceptable way to seek financial refuge for 20-somethings that an increasing number of millennials see a five-year, post-graduate stint in their parents’ house as no big deal. Survey respondents between the ages of 18 and 34 thought a five-year stay in their parents’ home was an acceptable maximum, contrasted with the three-year max favored by respondents 55 and older.

It’s not like millennials are the only resource-siphoning losers in the generational sandbox — Generation Z, whose oldest members are currently freshmen in college, think living at home until the ripe old age of 28 is totally fine. Men, as has been seen again and again, are more likely and more comfortable living at home deep into their 20s. Also, the economy still sucks, and living at home — rather than plunking down a hefty portion of your paycheck just to be able to crow proudly, “I am an independent adult who can poop with the bathroom door open!” — might be the most financially responsible decision young workers can make. At least, that’s the way the world used to work, back before the industrial, war machine-building sector couldn’t put enough Americans to work.