“Bratz have GRAMMY® Fever!” I scream on my deathbed.

Bratz Dolls, which I thought were a promotional wing for Steve Madden footwear for a long time because of the similarities between their advertising aesthetics, has announced a collection of miniature rave wives, loosely organized around the Grammys.

The dolls are named “Retro Swing Raya,” “Electro Pop Jade,” “American Country Cloe” and “Acoustic Rock Jasmine.” (Which one are you? I’m more of an Electro Pop Jade, obviously.) These dolls love music, so they are going to Bratzaroo and Bratzchella, toting their lucky “vibes tent” that keeps them safe before they take some bratz molly and get trampled at the Bratzadamus EDM set. The Bratz Music Festival Vibes tent includes a “guitar accessory, a bonfire, and 2 smoothie cups,” and the death knell of uncommodified experience continues apace.

Contact the author at jia@jezebel.com.

Image via screenshot