'Bing Bong, New York City!' Things Eric Adams Has Said That Prove He's An Alien

During his tenure as Brooklyn Borough President, Eric Adams hosted a “Rat-Summit” to address the (very real!) rat issue in New York City. There he proudly debuted his “Rat Bucket,” which kills rats in such a way that it made me consider joining PETA. And he bragged on a podcast in 2020 that he killed exactly 107 of them:

“When I did that initiative of mothers coming into my office telling me about rats biting their babies, and showing me bite marks from the children by rats. And I went over the country and said, ‘Can we find a device to deal with the rat infestation?’ And we were able to put it in place as a pilot project and killed 107 rats, and then we want to put the pilot project into NYCHA developments. It was folks coming over and saying, ‘Why are you killing rats?’ You know, those things that are important to everyday residents. We have a welcome sign to New York, but how about being welcoming to the people who were there?”

“I’m like broccoli. You’re gonna hate me now, but you’re gonna love me later.”

Mayor Adams has referred to himself multiple times as the “Broccoli Mayor.” Most recently it was because he is proposing Vegan Fridays at city schools, but he also called his inhumane sweeps of homeless encampments his “broccoli moment.” From purely an editorial standpoint, maybe he should hone in on what the hell he thinks broccoli represents.

A scandal that rocked Adams’ mayoral run was the debate over where he truly lived. Some people, like those who’ve looked at his property taxes, think he was living in Fort Lee, New Jersey. Others, like Eric Adams, think Eric Adams was living in his son’s home in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn. During his campaign, Adams showed reporters the inside of “his” refrigerator in a Bedstuy, but it was full of meat, which he blamed on...his son.

New Jersey, New York. Potato, potahto. Broccoli, broccoli.

The origins of “Bing Bong” are murky. Was it a Pixar film that launched the trend? A Knicks fan? What definitely ended it was Eric Adams saying in his first TikTok as he drank his death smoothie and glared out his office window: “Bing bong, New York City. Your mayor’s on TikTok. Let’s get stuff done.”

A lot of people know that the city of Manhattan is built upon a giant bedrock of schist. But did you know that according to Eric Adams, we actually sit upon rare gems and stones, and because of that, “there’s a special energy that comes from here?” Oh, ok, I was wondering about the energy.

When the man is eventually done being the mayor of New York City, he’s going to want a break. That is understandable. Less understandable is him telling Mishpacha, a weekly Jewish Publication, that he wanted to retire in Golan Heights, which, for those unfamiliar, is land under Israeli Occupation. Politics aside, it’s a volatile choice of neighborhood to want to move to in your twilight years.

Adams said that he loves Israel so much—“the food, the culture, the dance, everything”—that he wants to buy a plot of land there. “Brooklyn is the Tel Aviv of America,” he exclaimed in a painfully obvious attempt to pander to New York’s Orthodox Jewish Community.

“There is no Fourth Amendment, or First Amendment, or any amendment right inside your household.”

In 2011, Eric Adams, then a state senator, released a video about the dangers of weapons in the household. The video is worth watching in its entirety, if you’re craving the feeling of your brain melting out of your ear. The basic gist is that if you’re lucky, your kid has hidden a prop pistol from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid in your decorative bed pillow. Adams also manages to prove that he has no concept of what the Fourth and First Amendments to our Constitution are.

This was when the so-called “nightlife mayor” recently raged with supermodel Cara Delevingne at a party celebrating a Wells Fargo credit card. “When you’re out at night, it helps decrease crime,” Adams said. Okay next slide.

“Next day is propane tanks being on the subway system. Next day is barbecuing on the subway system.”

Eric Adams warned of these potential threats, in that order, after the NYPD (his favorite institution) arrested a woman selling mangoes at a subway station. Eric Adams, I challenge you to the “take one improv class and learn what proper heightening is” challenge!

Here is our mayor walking a dog that exudes about the same humanlike qualities as he does. This robot dog is meant to detect smoke and help fight fires—something that an actual dog is also able to do. Also, a smoke detector can do that. But that’s none of my business.

The most human thing Eric Adams is said is that he loved bubble baths. When asked what he was looking forward to most after the mayoral race, he said, “taking that bubble bath.” What is less normal, however, is remember that tour of “his” apartment? No bathtub to be seen.

The man, the myth, the mayor.