Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Billy Ray Cyrus and Firerose Can't Stop Posting Selfies Under Trees

The newly engaged couple wants you to see what their faces, that diamond, and those balayage braids look like in front of various types of foliage.

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Screenshot: Billy Ray Cyrus, Firerose Instagrams

Billy Ray and Firerose sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

In case none of you have been watching Cyrus’ Instagram account with the eagle-eyed attention of an investigative gossip blogger like me, I am here to share a few observations: The “Achy Breaky Heart” singer cannot get enough of his new fiancée Firerose, the couple is really taking advantage of Instagram’s co-posting feature, and these two cannot stop taking the same fucking selfie under a tree.

Since August, the lovebirds have taken six backwoods photos, at least four of which seem to be around the exact same tree. They often follow the same formula: her hand on his chest, diamond ring on display, and his Simon Cowell eyes gazing soulfully into the phone camera (which he is always holding, of course, so that we can see her ring).

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You might be thinking: Who cares? Leaf them alone. But alas, I cannot. Using ArborDay.org’s tree identification portal—and assuming the pair took these in Nashville—it looks like the May-December couple particularly likes standing beneath a maple. What is going on here? I have some theories:

  • Before they were Instagram official, Firerose’s first love seems to have been…trees. “My sanctuary,” she captioned a February post of two photos of her looking at and caressing a tree. Her next three posts were also of her sensually leaning up against trees. Okay—arborist alert! Glad she’s not giving up everything she loves in order to be Mrs. Billy Ray Cyrus.
  • Someone keeps forcing the two of them out of the house because they annoyingly harmonize for hours on end in the shower, and Firerose can’t stop saying, “Babe, you look SO good with the balayage braids. So good, babe.”
  • Most of these photos were taken on the same day. They just braided and unbraided Billy Ray’s hair and Firerose threw on various plaid tops for the self-engagement shoot in nature, and there were just too many good snaps to choose from.
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While I’d love to see the happy couple switch things up—if it works, why try and fix it? Though, I would definitely recommend that they find some alternative options for their second favorite type of post: driving and filming themselves without seatbelts on.