Billy Eichner Performed a Song for Taylor Swift That's Perfect for Her

Don't you guys love Taylor Swift? Billy Eichner does, so he wrote a song for her called "Glitter and Ribs" that fits perfectly into her signature girl-meets-boy narrative. The comedian/actor performed it on Conan on Wednesday night.

What's not to love about Swift? Eichner tells Conan that with all the evils happening in the world, "Taylor Swift is writing about the most important topic, which is what happens when your boyfriend doesn't text you back and I think that's so essential, Conan!" Well, it kind of is to some of us, okay!

Anyway, "Glitter and Ribs" (which Eichner originally composed for Funny or Die) could shoot to the top of the charts if Swift would just give it a shot. Sample lyrics: "He was a boy/ I was a girl/ What more do you need to know?/ He was a boy, he walked through the door/ He was a door walking through, boy."

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once she called out how it's sort of bs that everyone acts like she's the only one who writes about her exes. and that's a really good point. of course she writes about them, like every other person who's ever written a love song in the history of the world. is it because her love life is so very public that we act like she's this boy-crazy little girl or what? we know who "out of the woods" is about so it's the same as her being totally obsessed and seriously just move on from him already?

anyway. sometimes billy is funny. being the 11 billionth person to note taylor's penchant for love songs is not one of those times.