Beyoncé Is Up to Something... Brace For Impact!

Illustration for article titled Beyoncé Is Up to Something... Brace For Impact!
Image: Allen Berezovsky (Getty Images)

RED ALERT! Ring every alarm, text everyone you love, warn as many Twitter followers as you possibly can, then open the windows in your house and scream at the top of your lungs for a while. Beyoncé is up to something! It’s imperative to get the word out before she crashlands back into orbit like a fucking meteor, obliterating everything in her path.

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I understand that Beyoncé just dropped Black Is Kingshout out Jezebel’s very own Clover Hope—but it wasn’t technically “new music.” Most, like me, had already played The Lion King: The Gift enough times to permanently sear it onto their brains. With that out of the way, what could Bey have possibly filmed at remote local television studio in the Hamptons?

Page Six reports that Bey shut down said television studio, located in Wainscott for four days, according to a source that works there. “It’s a big studio with two separate buildings. The whole thing was closed for Beyoncé so nobody could go in.” Those ousted from the building include local socialite Jean Shafirof, who films local programming Successful Philanthropy at the station. She tells Page Six:

“I love Beyoncé, so I was happy to give her my time at the studio. I canceled my guest and I’m interviewing her this week instead. My only regret is that Beyoncé didn’t invite us to watch the taping, now that all the big concerts have been canceled.”

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It’s downright strange for Page Six to have sources at all. Usually, Beyoncé moves in complete silence. The world didn’t hear a stitch about Lemonade until Bey wanted it to. So what gives? Multiple sources are running their mouths, including a woman willing to give her actual NAME. They either broke their NDAs, or never signed them. Mysteries on mysteries. Still, it’s imperative to remain on high alert: Nobody plays this game like Beyoncé!


What’s going on here, Rumer?


Baby Phat rides again!

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The Rock is recovering from coronavirus:

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  • It’s a bit weird they gave the coach from Cheer a spot on Dancing With the Stars. It’s almost like everyone watched that show with their eyes closed! [People]
  • Miley Cyrus: Divorce “fucking sucked.” [Us Weekly]
  • Bye bye, Marie Osmond! [People]
  • It’s getting weirder. [Us Weekly]
  • Pretty Little Liars is getting a reboot maybe??? [ET]

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DISCUSSION

I forgot Cheer was a thing and read Cheers, and thought that was a really morbid joke about Ernie Pantusso.