Neither Beyoncé or Solange showed up at Matthew Knowles’ wedding to their new Stepmomcé Gena Avery in Houston, Texas. ” “Unfortunately, Beyonce and Solange had previous engagements which made it impossible for them to attend,” said the newly-wedded Knowles. There should be a reality show in which family therapists compete to make the Knowles family their clients. Perhaps it should be called Therapyoncé. You are welcome, Bravo. [TMZ, Us Weekly]
John Mayer uncharacteristically acknowledged the female human he is dating during a concert at Summerfest in Milwaulkee. “She was more incredible than I ever thought. She was so patient as to continue to get to know me and love me. I want to dedicate this song to my Katy, who is my face to call home.” I am glad Katy Perry, John Mayer and John Mayer’s David Duke cock are happy. [NYDN]
When Paris Jackson leaves the hospital, she is headed for a boarding school in Utah, chosen for her by Debbie Rowe — specifically, the “$10 million Diamond Ranch Academy in Utah, a treatment centre for struggling children.” The family hopes to get her off social media, fearing a relapse if she goes back to Twitter. [Page Six]
50 Cent was really mean to his 16-year-old son over text shortly before his domestic violence charge. “Fuck you, delete my number.” “I need a blood test cause that d*ck sucking b*tch you call mom was f*cking the hole [sic] time.” “Tell your mother she won. She has you and ill [sic] make another. I will have nothing to do with you. Don’t text me ever again.” There’s a whole transcript of this, if you feel like reading something sad and horrible. [Radar Online]
- Prince William’s cousin Zara Tindall is pregnant. [People]
- Michael Lohan is a calcium deposit on the ass of the world. [Radar Online]
- Gisele Bundchen cuddled with her offspraaaang.
- My dad’s imaginary girlfriend Heather Locklear wore a bikini. [Us Weekly]
- LeAnn Rimes was bullied in the sixth grade. [Us Weekly]
- Michael Jackson’s former tour manager’s computer was subpoenaed in the trial. [Page Six]
- Baby Goose spent a low key weekend in the Hamptons. [Page Six]
- Dude, I would drain the blood of a human being to spend an evening with Susan Lucci, Michael Kors and Liza Minnelli. [Page Six]
- Someone blew up the spot of Leonardo DiCaprio and his 20-year-old model girlfriend Toni Garn. [Page Six]
- The GOP hates Alec Baldwin. [NYDN]
- Kim Bauer got married. [NYDN]
- Um, Rebecca Black covered “We Can’t Stop” by Miley Cyrus. I think I can stop now actually? [E!]
- Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler took a selfie at Wimbledon. [E!]
- This would be Heidi Klum’s sunburnt posterior. [NYDN]
- Taylor Lautner “snuggled” with “a brunette.” [Page Six]
- Paris Hilton recreated the Coppertone girl ads sans buttcheek. [Page Six]
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