Bethenny Frankel to Grow Weed That Keeps You Stoned and Skinny

Bethenny Frankel is focusing her efforts to turn grown women into skinny girls on the biggest issue facing recreational marijuana users today: Eating all those munchies that totally make you fat.

“Sources,” who are probably Bethenny Frankel’s publicist, revealed to US Weekly that the Bravo star plans to launch “Skinnygirl marijuana” which will be designed not to give you the munchies.

“It will be a specially engineered strain of pot designed to not give you the munchies,” an insider close to the Skinnygirl cocktails creator, 44, tells Us. “She read about how profitable the cannabis industry is and wants to get in on that.”

Oh, she read about how profitable the cannabis industry is—alright. Frankel will launch her “Skinnygirl marijuana” in Alaska, Colorado, Oregon, and Washington—all states where recreation weed is legal.

Now, I’m not a cannabis-focused botanist, but if it’s possible to grow a strain of weed that won’t make you hungry, why wouldn’t Bethenny try to grow a strain of weed that makes you crave one of the eight million Skinnygirl products she hocks? She could even sell the snacks and the weed together like an adult Lunchables.

The many holes in this idea tell me that not only does Bethenny have her priorities completely out of whack, clearly she hasn’t done any market research. Does she not understand that the munchies are like half the fun of getting high? How the hell else do you explain away eating four packs of ramen noodles in one sitting? What are stoners going to do now? Smoke up and then not go to Taco Bell?

One thing that will be fun is to watch her sell this product because nobody sits on the axis of shamelessness and utter relentlessness like Bethenny Frankel. Let’s just hope that she gets “Skinnygirl marijuana” grown in time to throw a sneak preview sampling party for the next season of the Real Housewives of New York because nobody need to chill the fuck out and get stoned like that crew of ladies.