Ben Carson: Investigate Muslim Group Attending the State of the Union for 'Civilization Jihad'

Illustration for article titled Ben Carson: Investigate Muslim Group Attending the State of the Union for 'Civilization Jihad'

Ben Carson doesn’t hate Muslims, per se—he just doesn’t think one should be president, he’s pretty sure they’re all going to sharia us in our sleep, and a Muslim civil liberties organization shouldn’t be allowed to attend the State of the Union and should be investigated for possible jihad. That’s all.


Carson spoke to CNN’s “New Day” this morning, in an interview we spotted via the Associated Press and Talking Points Memo. He brightly suggested that the well-respected Council on American Islamic Relations shouldn’t be allowed to attend the State of the Union, which they’re doing: Congresswomen Zoe Lofgren of California and Alcee Hastings of Florida will both be hosting CAIR officials from their home states. Sameena Usman, a “government relations coordinator” based in San Francisco will attend with Lofgren, while Nezar Hamze, the CFO of CAIR Florida, will attend as Hastings’ guest.

That’s bad, Carson opined. Via The Hill, a transcript:

“These are people who I have called for an investigation of,” Carson told host Alisyn Camerota. “We can’t now sit there and say these are buddy buddies of ours, [so] let’s go ahead and investigate the thing.

“If they are our buddies, let’s put that clearly out there. And if they’re not our buddies, let’s not be giving them access to the ability to further carry on what they call a civilization jihad and to change us from a Judeo-Christian foundation to a Muslim foundation. We have got to be smarter than that.”

CAIR is not carrying out a “civilization jihad.”

The candidate, whose campaign manager and spokesperson both recently resigned in a hasty fashion, also promised that he’d have more “pep in my step” going forward, especially during the next debate on Thursday. He sounds so convincing when he says it.

Can’t wait.

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Carson at an economic forum in South Carolina, January 9, 2015. Photo via AP Images


Bears for President

Can do Ben! My team of amateur sleuths, the Jihad Squad, is on the case. There’s Nat, our bright and charismatic leader(but if you ask me she’s a bit of a know it all). Then there’s Yancy. Sure he’s always off sneaking a snack but he’s strong as an Ox and has a heart of pure gold. Then of course, there’s Amber. Sure, she’s a bit of a looker but she’s no ditz. She has a deep and meaningful understanding of Islamic texts and can differentiate between the words of hateful extremists who pervert religious texts for their own geopolitical aim and genuine religious scholarship.

Then of course there’s me the, goof-off of the group and, of course, Mr. Noodles, our talking pet Raccoon. Sure, we get ourselves into all manner of scrapes and shenanigans but we always seem to stumble upon some pretty meaningful clues that let us figure out if there’s any Jihad going on.

However, fair warning, if we’re going to investigate we probably need some advance warning. Our van, the Jihad-Mobile, keeps getting pulled over and for some reason each member of the Jihad squad has gotten onto the no-fly list. Even Mr. Noodles.