Beep Beep, Pete Buttigieg Got The Keys to the Jeep (Rowwwrrrr)

Illustration for article titled Beep Beep, Pete Buttigieg Got The Keys to the Jeep (Rowwwrrrr)
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It’s the Christmas season and if you’re a Democrat who was running for president but then dropped out just in time for Joe Biden to win the nomination, then the holiday has come a few days early as the President-elect begins to hand out cabinet positions to all the good boys and girls. Latest on Santa Biden’snice” list is Pete Buttigieg, who will reportedly be nominated as the Biden administration’s transportation secretary. Just a refresher: Mayor Pete was a mayor before he ran for president and has as much experience in overseeing an entire nation’s infrastructure as I do being a conductor with the MTA.

If he is confirmed, Mayor Pete will oversee this country’s “airspace, highway system, pipeline safety, and much more,” which is a far cry, I would imagine from, keeping the roads shoveled and properly paved in South Bend, Indiana. No shade to South Bend—I’m sure y’all have lovely roads.

So why transportation and not something more suited to Buttigieg’s abilities? Well first, one would need to know what his abilities are, and seeing as how Mayor Pete was politically born two years ago, his resume doesn’t exactly runneth over. But he’s been a good soldier and the Biden administration had to toss him some sort of bone lest they look ungrateful and lose a politically ambitious youngster willing to go on Fox and talk shit. [Politico]

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Republicans are slowly coming around to the idea that Joe Biden was in fact elected president and there are no grounds to delay the result any further. But Representative Mo Brooks of Alabama just isn’t ready to come to terms with that just yet. In an interview on Fox—where else—Brooks referred to Biden’s election win as “illegitimate” and is calling for fellow Republicans to issue a challenge to the certification of the Electoral College’s votes.

Brooks needs a single person to join him on this fruitless crusade to reject the election results in order to force a vote on the action. But judging by the line of notable Republicans who publicly swallowed some humble pie and congratulated Biden on his win, Brooks will not be finding a study buddy for this one. [The Hill]


  • President Trump’s lawyer, Jenna Ellis, got fired one time and then lied about it. Relatable. [Colorado Sun]
  • Mitch McConnell and co. finally accepted the election results, and it only took a month. [NBC]
  • A Republican candidate for governor in Virginia posted a special request on her Facebook page asking Donald Trump to institute marshall law in order to prevent Joe Biden from being sworn in. Who’s the snowflake now, fuckers? [The Hill]
  • Ivanka Trump tried to challenge science on Twitter and lost. [HuffPost]
  • Melania Trump went to a children’s hospital and removed her mask to read the kiddies a story. [The Daily Beast]
  • Joe Biden confirms that Rafael Warnock is fuckin ripped. [Twitter]

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DISCUSSION

The cackle that I just let out!!!

So, true story is that Elaine Chao, the current Transportation Secretary is married to Mitch McConnell (gross!), and is the scion to a whole ass shipping company of questionable nature, that profited heavily from her tenure at transport, even securing a hefty PPP “loan.”

My guess is that Pete did indeed need to be thrown a bone, but give the man credit for being a naval intelligence officer. My tea leaves read that Madam Chao gave infrastructure secrets to those that she was not supposed to, and that Pete and several inspectors general will be installed to clean up her messes and fix any leaky pipes, so to speak.

Sure, South Bend has only a handful of roads to put new asphalt on each year, but Pete knows well enough to surround himself with bright minds that will make up for his personal knowledge gap. This is a position that can literally drive itself while he either plots a bid for governor of Indiana, or perhaps, a Senate seat of his very own.