Tourists frolicking in the rolling, poppy-covered hills of California’s “superbloom” are actually ruining it with their gorgeous Instagram posts, which I am totally not jealous of.
Residents are blaming social media, given that the poppies are beautiful and regular tourists and influencers alike are doing impromptu photo shoots in the fields. “Wow, how horrible,” I sigh, as I scroll through the photos and long for the warmth of a California sun, the sensual touch of poppies caressing my skin, and an enviable Instagram post to make my haters jealous.
Not to mention there are also rattlesnakes in the area which are now biting visitors because of overcrowding. “I’d let a snake bite me to get close to those poppies,” I whisper in the smallest voice possible so as not to let my coworkers know that, given the chance, I’d absolutely be selfie-ing myself to death in that spectacular canyon. “I’d let a snake eat me if it made for a good post,” I say, in an even quieter voice than the first.
The canyon ultimately reopened on Monday but had to turn visitors away once it was full. But the lesson remains: don’t go to the superbloom and ruin it with your pretty photos unless, of course, you’re inviting me. Please take me there. Please.
Please.