BBC Declares Red Lipstick Will Make Children Turn to Lives of Sin

Ever concerned with the threat the female form poses to the morality of children, the BBC has issued new wardrobe guidelines for female hosts of kids’ programming on the network. Among the banned items? That serial murderer of youthful innocence known as “red lipstick.”

A BBC executive told attendees at a convention that the network is very concerned with making sure young girls are shown positive role models that aren’t oversexualized, because lord knows kids get enough of that from a place called “everywhere.” But the network is going about it by targeting some interesting clothing items. And it seems they’re working to make sure the language used on kids’ shows isn’t too salty, when it comes to how hosts present themselves, they’re only really concerned about what female personalities wear.

When asked whether the BBC pays attention to what female presenters wear, [Melissa] Hardinge [executive editor at BBC children’s channel] said: ‘We take that very seriously.

‘We know that a lot of young girls will look at how our presenters are dressed, and no they shouldn’t look too sexy.’

No word on whether or not how male hosts present themselves or speak can negatively impact the sexuality of little girls.