Barbie's New Job Is Instagram Influencer

No one works harder than Barbie, who has had more professions over the years than she can count on her immobile fingers and toes. But in this new age where the youths are not getting jobs as astronauts or fashion designers, Barbie has apparently had to adapt with the times to keep those paychecks coming in to support her orphan sister Skipper (who is now a tween!?) and overachieving cousin Stacie. There was only one career path left for Barbie, Instagram influencer, or as her maker, Mattel, is calling it Barbie Extra.

This week Mattel launched their Barbie Extra collection which features a white Barbie, a Black Barbie, and three racially ambiguous Barbies, one of which I am pretty sure is supposed to be Latina, based on her hair and earrings. What makes these ladies “extra” is not just that they’re racially diverse and have different body proportions than a standard Barbie, but also that they’re adorned with over the top ridiculous clothing and hair. Other than the Black Extra Barbie, each Barbie in the five doll collection sports pastel hair, some questionable sleeves, and their own pet because even a dog can be a source of income if you’re a good enough influencer.

The collection is, without question, an accurate reflection of the current times, which is unfortunate for collectors who value timeless pieces that can be displayed in the long term—but for kids, I guess. These dolls instantly date themselves and have absolutely no staying power, unlike some of Barbie’s other collections like Professional and Signature, influencer Barbie is going to look like a circus clown in five years. It’s also a waste of time to design these over-the-top clothes for Barbie, seeing as how the entire point of getting these things as a kid is to strip them naked and make sex noises with other dolls that are also naked. Kids are still doing that right?