Advertisement

Newsom was one of the public men to embrace feminism during the DNC, an ostensibly progressive pronouncement wrapped up in a more acceptable guise of fatherhood and family. There’s nothing wrong with a father wanting equality for his daughter, but it’s an approach to feminism that chafes at the core of equality; namely, that men would only be interested in history making if they too had some clear biological stake in it. “It is absolutely men’s responsibility to fight sexism too,” Obama writes. “And as spouses and partners and boyfriends, we need to work hard and be deliberate about creating truly equal relationships.”

Obama’s short essay is certainly trying to make a neutral appeal of women’s value, but the nature of that appeal strikes as outmoded as the very gender stereotypes he addresses. In the narrative of “dad feminism,” women’s equality is still bound and dependent on their relationship with men. As my colleague Kelly said, “it’s feminism as a lifestyle statement.” And maybe it’s an acceptable way for men to state their feminism, to frame it as one of their many sacrifices as parents and thus reshape feminism as a familial work, stripping it of its radical roots and progressive ideology. But there’s a limited appeal here, one that reinforces women’s worth as deeply interdependent on domesticity.

Advertisement

Changing a diaper or two, as the President suggests, is great (though I’m not certain we should “celebrate” men for doing so), as is the recognition of women’s work, but it would be even better if we could have that conversation outside of the boundaries of family relationships.