Reality shows are formulaic, and The Bachelorette is no exception to that rule. But Monday night’s episode of the show was all about trotting over old territory, whether that meant referencing how moments compared to others in Bachelor history, or literally bringing back several old contestants, like, Nick, of “if you weren’t in love with me, I’m just not sure why you made love with me?” fame.

“I’ve been hearing from multiple guys that Clint is one of the biggest douches in Bachelorette history,” Kaitlyn said of a man who was not actually in love with his fellow contestant, but was also clearly ~not there for the right reasons~ — so she sent him home. Clint leaving was upsetting to J.J., who threw his best bud under the bus before he left, telling Clint, “I think you should say sorry to all of us right now, because you are taking time and emotions.” (Clint’s response: “Nut up or shut up dude because I’m going to fucking kill you.”) Then J.J. (fake?) cried alone and slapped himself in the face to get over it.

Next, Nick came along. Nick and Kaitlyn allegedly hadn’t met IRL before, but they had texted, which is basically the same thing as meeting in our modern times. Nick said he just had to hang with her, and of course, this upset the men, who thought Nick was ~not there for the right reasons~. Kaitlyn still gave out a rose on a group date, but it didn’t mean much to anyone; “Given the context of the night, it might be the most meaningless rose in the history of the show,” said Tanner.

After Nick showed up, Kaitlyn needed another friendly face (a brief appearance by Ashley I., who showed up with Nick to an event with Doug E. Fresh, wasn’t enough). So she got her hair done by hairdresser/crazy person Ashley S. from last season, who doled out a little advice. Because why not? They are so close!

Advertisement

The episode ended on yet another cliffhanger, with Nick walking into the hotel room where the men are staying, ostensibly returning to the show for a second chance at love. We also got a glimpse of rejected Bachelorette Britt’s burgeoning relationship with Brady, which seems to be going well.

All of these cameos from former contestants are meant to make the viewer feel more attached to the plot of the show, because who doesn’t love a friendly face? But instead, it results in the feeling that this show is even more manipulated than you already know it is. It’s enough that we have Kaitlyn, herself a former contestant. To bring in a known cast of characters to interact with this new cast is actually more true to the reality of the “Bachelor family”—former contestants hang out in real life all the time—but weirdly, it ends up making the whole thing seem even more fake.


Contact the author at dries@jezebel.com.