At Least SNL Is Listening to Anthony Fauci

A couple of weeks ago, Saturday Night Live returned for its first live episode since the show suspended production amidst the covid-19 outbreak with Tom Hanks hosting as most of the cast filmed sketches from wherever they happen to be social distancing from right now. Honestly, it wasn’t half bad, and so they had another go at it last night, this time with Brad Pitt tapping in for the cold open.

While it’s up for debate as to whether or not the president is actually listening to Dr. Anthonly Fauci, it can be said with absolute certainty that the team at SNL is, because after Fauci joked several weeks ago that he would like Brad Pitt to play him on SNL, last night, that’s exactly what happened.

“First, I’d like to thank all the older women in America who have sent me supportive, inspiring, and sometimes graphic emails,” the Pitt Fauci began, playing off the confusing way everyone seems to have become extremely horny for anyone showing a modicum of rational thinking lately. Personally, I don’t quite get it, but if that’s your thing, go off I guess.

“Now, there’s been a lot of misinformation out there about the virus.” Pitt Fauci continued, “And yes, the president has taken some liberties with our guidelines. So tonight, I would like to explain what the president was trying to say. And remember, let’s all try to keep an open mind.”

From there, the cold open goes on to show videos of Trump rattling off all manor of unhinged and wholly uninformed comments about covid-19, from saying it will just disappear, like a miracle, to speculating about the effectiveness of consuming disinfectants to fight the virus, while Pitt Facui interjects with his interpretations of the president’s comments.

On Trump’s claim we’ll have a vaccine relatively soon he said,

Relatively soon is an interesting phrase. Relative to the entire history of earth? Sure, eh, the vaccine is gonna come real fast. But if you were to tell a friend, “I’ll be over relative soon,” and then showed up a year and a half later, well, your friend may be relatively pissed off.

And regarding Trump’s comments that the covid-19 tests are beautiful and readily available,

Okay, a couple of things. I don’t know if I would describe the tests as beautiful unless your idea of beauty is having a cotton swab tickle your brain. Also, when he said, “Everyone can get a test,” what he meant was, “Almost no one.”

It was, for the most part, very funny, although when I think about it too hard it makes me more than a little sad knowing that this kind of parody is relevant as a result of the fact that the president lacks the ability to make any kind of clear, rational decision regarding a response to the pandemic.

Pitt wrapped the cold open by removing his wig, and wig cap, to thank Fauci as himself for his leadership.

And to the real Dr. Fauci, thank you for your calm, and your clarity in this unnerving time. And thank you to the medical workers and first responders and their families for being on the front line.

If only we could get the people in charge of the country to listen to Fauci the way the people in charge of SNL are we might be in a bit better shape. However, as a small consolation prize, while Fauci has the ear of SNL perhaps he might consider asking Pitt to play him shirtless next time, you know, just to see if they’re really listening.