As if Destroying the Planet Wasn't Enough, Now Jeff Bezos Wants His Picture Taken With Lizzo
CelebritiesDirt Bag
Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. In some instances, a simple choice can push well-meaning individuals off of a cliff and into a swirling vortex of darkness. As for Lizzo, her fate is yet to be decided.
Last night, the superstar was probably bopping around at an exclusive suite during the Super Bowl and enjoying her recent Grammy win. Here’s how I imagine the next few moments went: A menacing presence approached her, and that boundless joy was interrupted. When a quiet voice squeaked in her ear, a chill ran down her spine. “My name is Jeff,” it said. “I’m your biggest fan.” Her whole body vibrated with fear, and sweated beaded on her brow. The presence moved closer. “I’d really love a picture with you.” She turned and adopted a smile. Every ounce of strength she had was poured into concealing the fear in her voice: “Sure thing!”
Click.
The figure slowly moved away, talking to itself. Lizzo still couldn’t make out exactly who it was. What have I done? She paused, then pulled out her cellphone, dialing a friend. “Hey, babe. Can I stay with you for a while?” [Twitter]
One of the more entertaining traditions each awards season is speeches punctuated by awkward laughter, made even more visible by enterprising cameramen and awards show directors with their finger on the pulse of drama. Last night at the BAFTAS, Brad Pitt’s acceptance speech for Best Actor in a Supporting Role put the talent of the BBC’s production crew on full display.
Unable to make the ceremony, probably because there’s this thing called the Oscars on Sunday, co-star Margot Robbie accepted Pitt’s award in his place. As Us Weekly reports, she “felt inclined to remind the audience” that what she was about to say was “his words, note mine!”
“Hey Britain! Heard you just became single. Welcome to the club. […] And he says, um, that he’s going to name this Harry, cause, uh, he is really excited about bringing it back to the States with him.”
Expectedly, the cameras cut directly to Prince William and Kate Middleton, who looked like this:
How many times do you think Kate Middle practiced that laughter with William before arriving to the ceremony? I’d guess she workshopped it for months, expertly training her face to convey mirth and lightheartedness. William, nowhere near as talented as his wife, obviously breaks the illusion somewhat. But if anyone was deserving of a BAFTA Sunday, I’d reckon Kate put herself in top spot for Best Actress in a Leading Role! [Us Weekly]
Please don’t ever mention G–Eazy to Halsey.
Speaking of G-Eazy, what exactly is happening here: [Complex]
- Beyoncé and Jay-Z sat through the national anthem, as one should. [Page Six]
- R. Kelly’s ex Azriel Clary is now co-operating with the authorities in his federal sex crimes case in NYC. [TMZ]
- The Palace insists the Sussex’s won’t be working with an influencer agency. [Just Jared]
- I can’t stop thinking about Stormi’s birthday party. [Hollywood Life]