April Glamour: Real Men Don't Say "Fun Bits"

Illustration for article titled April iGlamour/i: Real Men Dont Say Fun Bits

Spring is in the air, which means it's time for Glamour to "interview" "guys" about "sex." Here's what the ladymag's sample of really real dudes really said about porn and "fun bits."

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A staple of the "guys talk about sex" article is the claim that men love porn ... but not as much as they love you! Glamour's version: "the only thing porn girls have over you is a willingness to have their fun bits examined in good light" (apparently one thing Glamour has over me is its willingness to describe vaginas as "fun bits"). Also, here's how to fuck like a porn star: "express the joy you're experiencing — that will help us understand what you want more of." Oh, and what guys think during sex: "Is she OK? Is she OK now?" Yes, men are all saintly sexual altruists who just want you to show them your joy. Sure, guys are almost certainly less obsessed with bodily perfection than women's insecurities would suggest, but this message isn't all that effective when delivered (from behind a "real guy" mask of course) by a magazine responsible for perpetuating these insecurities. For instance: "If you would like your body to seem cuter to him, use it to have sex with him more. It's up to you: how cute do you want to be?" Come on out, Glamour, we know you're in there.

Illustration for article titled April iGlamour/i: Real Men Dont Say Fun Bits

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DISCUSSION

I hate articles that try to explain why men like porn, and what that means for you as a woman. Men like porn. (Straight) Men like to have sex with women. In my mind, the two don't have much of a link (aside from the obvious one.) I happen to love porn, but it has nothing to do with my relationship to my boyfriend.

Also, we don't need to be coddled about the whole 'men watch porn' thing. Stop talking down to us, stop petting our heads. Saying we shouldn't feel insecure because men watch porn implies that we already feel that way. I don't, sorry, and hearing a 'man' say that 'porn girls' have anything over me (or us) implies that they are inherently sexier in some way. It doesn't work like that.