Angelina Begs For Help On Behalf Of Pakistan

  • Angelina Jolie is pleading for help on behalf of Pakistan's flood victims.

"One-fifth of Pakistan is under water and the threat of disease now looms for 20 million affected people," says Angelina. "This is not just a humanitarian crisis; it is an economic and social catastrophe. UNHCR is on the ground. The more support we can give, the greater number of tents, food, clean water, and medicine will get to the people in need." (Interested in helping? Click here.) [ET, The Life Files]

  • Psst: The director of The Tourist says that Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp had "incredible chemistry" on the set. Hot! [MTV]
  • Meanwhile, Brad Pitt bought a woman a house during his visit to New Orleans. Or at least, that's how the gossip is being spun. If you read her quotes, it sounds like she has a Make It Right home, which is not exactly the same as Brad buying a house for her. [Showbiz Spy, Radar Online]
  • Michael Douglas continues to battle throat cancer; he's on the cover of People this week and says chemotherapy "really knocks you out." [People]
  • Lady Gaga's healthy diet: salsa with grain chips, tofu, turkey slices, hummus and coconut water. [CNN]
  • Paris Hilton's stylist says that Paris doesn't have time for drugs, and "she would never do drugs or anything else for that matter to destroy what she's worked so hard for." To which I say: LOL WUT. [Radar Online]
  • Lindsay Lohan has sent a cease and desist letter to her father, ordering him to stop selling her personal stuff. And as you may know, she told Vanity Fair: "I think my biggest focus for myself is learning how to continue to get through the trauma that my father has caused in my life." [Radar Online]
  • Michael Lohan has moved to L.A. to be near Lindsay. [TMZ]
  • Samantha Ronson is facing an investigation after her dog allegedly killed another dog. [People]
  • Breaking: Anne Hathaway's short haircut was actually a wig! [Showbiz Spy]
  • Rumor has it that after Taylor Momsen talked shit about Rihanna (and then claimed she was misquoted), the 17-year-old got a phone call from RiRi, who suggested that Taylor "act her age." [Digital Spy]
  • By the by, Rihanna's barftastic wax figure is straight from the Uncanny Valley. [Just Jared, The Life Files]
  • George Clooney will direct a film adaptation of the off-Broadway play Farragut North, a political drama about campaign dirty tricks. [New York Mag]
  • David Hasselhoff is excited about Dancing With The Stars but says: "You won't see me in Spandex because it reveals too much of The Hoff." [Mirror]
  • The Hoff's DWTS costar Bristol Palin says: "I think I will be the most dressed [contestant and have] the most modest outfits for sure because that's who I am." [People]
  • Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty living together? Worst. Idea. Ever. Won't someone think of the cats? [The Sun]
  • "Amy Winehouse's boyfriend Reg Traviss accused of 'cheating for months' with ex." [This Is London]
  • Alexander Skarsgard starts filming a movie called Battleship next week in Hawaii. And yes, the flick is based on the board game you cheated in when you were nine . [Just Jared]
  • Lionel Richie thinks Joel Madden has been really good for Nicole Richie: Joel's an anchoring soul for Nicole. He came in the door once and said, 'Mr. Richie, I just want to let you know I've got control of this.' I was like, 'No you don't! Are you kidding me?' But I think that was the start: she found somebody that would challenge her stuff. They are a great team and I love him very much." [This Is London]
  • Nick Cannon doesn't know his Greco-Latin root words. [Perez]
  • D'Oh! Glee kids on The Simpsons! [Extra]
  • Zsa Zsa Gabor is back in the hospital. [TMZ]
  • "I don't worry about aging. I might consider a 'lift' but women in Los Angles go too far. I don't want to end up with big puffy lips and a scary stretched-back face." — Kim Kardashian. [Contact Music]
  • "I find it embarrassing that adults are like, 'Taylor Swift is very talented.' She's not. She might be cute, but she's horrible." — Chris Robinson of the Black Crowes. [Contact Music]
  • "I was humiliated." — Teresa Guidice on bankruptcy. [NYDN]
  • "They've never asked me, so they can go fuck themselves! I don't know why because I certainly fall into their old lady category. I would do it for the exercise. Making yourself dance everyday for six hours a day I think would be so great." — Joan Rivers, on Dancing With The Stars. [The Life Files]
  • "I have a job where I advertise yogurt that makes you poop. Now people tell me about their bowel movements every day." — Jamie Lee Curtis. [Showbiz Spy]


Erin Gloria Ryan

Bristol Palin needs to stop pretending that she's this Alaskan teenage virgin Mary nun. Bristol, the gig's up. You put out. We know you put out. No amount of modest sequin encrusted dancing costumes will change the fact that the only reason for your continued fame after your mother lost the Vice Presidency and then quit her job is your fledgling career as someone who travels around the country toting your baby (evidence that you, in fact, put out) and telling other kids not to put out like you did, because babies are God's precious punishments for girls who put out.

Stop being ashamed. Wear a damn string bikini if you want. You don't have to pretend that you're exactly what your crazy mom tells you that you should be. We know you're not, and, frankly, you'd probably gain a few fans if you didn't try to hide it.