Dear Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna,
As you’re no doubt aware, both of you have been in the news a lot lately regarding your rumored relationship. All about town and on social media, it seems you’ve been rubbing your love in our faces, as if your union itself is an act of rebellion against a family of hypocrites. Beautiful strategy. I’m not mad at it. That’s not why I’m here.
I want to thank you, because in the midst of whatever this is—a publicity stunt, a long con, or perhaps, in fact, real love—you’ve brought awareness to a thing that’s too often overlooked. Seeing your love fest on Instagram, my first thought was: Why is Rob Kardashian using the clover emoji? My second thought: Why is Blac Chyna using the clover emoji??
IG users cracked the code and figured out that maybe it’s because Rob’s birthday is on St. Patrick’s Day. Makes sense. Birth of a new love. I get it. We’ve arrived at my third thought: Wait a minute, why am I not using the Clover emoji???
Frankly, as a Clover, I’m ashamed. Early this morning, Jia asked me in our chat room, “Do you ever use the clover emoji?”
I sat and considered this for a moment. “Not really and I’m embarrassed,” I replied. “It’s a good looking emoji…”
The question lingered in my mind: Do you ever use the clover emoji? Do you ever use the clover emoji? Obviously, I should be using the clover emoji, right? My text messages should be FLOODED with clover emojis. I AM THE CLOVER EMOJI.
That’s when I walked in my bathroom, shut the door quietly and looked in the mirror. I touched parts of my face I hadn’t felt before and grabbed my iPhone, searching frantically for the clover emoji. Therein lies part of the problem: it takes about five swipes to get to it. Perhaps it wasn’t that I was subconsciously denying my identity; perhaps my lack of usage was out of pure laziness. Hell, I can’t call it.
I hung my head in shame. Like when you realize true love has been under your nose the whole time. I’m sure y’all understand.
So that’s what you made me think about, Rob and Blac Chyna. My hope is that, with your increased usage, the clover emoji becomes a symbol of love, just as DJ Khaled has turned the key emoji into a motivational emblem of sorts. Either way, you’ve changed my life. Now, when I open a text box and look at “Frequently Used,” there among the thinking face emoji and nerd face emoji is where I’ll be.
Sincerely,
Clover
Contact the author at [email protected].
Image via Instagram
GET JEZEBEL RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX
Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.
