Amy Schumer Has a Solution for All Your Boring Conversations

It takes two or more people to participate in a conversation, but sometimes that conversation isn’t worth listening to that deeply, right?


Which is why Amy Schumer created a service called ListenAlert for boring people to talk endlessly about nothing to someone who pretends to care, whether it’s a convo about fibromyalgia or juice cleansing.

The only thing that would make this skit better is if it were automated operators.

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Is it This American Life where the woman talks with her mom about verboten topics of conversation, because of how boring and stupid they are - you guys know what I’m talking about? The mom is all prim and proper (I picture, like, a female version of Charles Emerson Winchester III), but gets practically apoplectic with rage when people veer into the “wrong” areas of conversation. It’s hilarious and wonderful, mostly because I have never had a conversation with my in-laws that consisted of anything but her banned topics. So, I totally feel it, man. She has 10, I think? I can’t remember them all.

Road talk: No one cares about the route you took to drive here, or how bad the traffic was! Next!

Health talk: Do not tell me about how your kidneys are functioning. TMI. I do not want to know about your bowel movements. Stahp.

Dream talk: Dreams are insane and weird and never make sense to the person having them, much less to the people who didn’t. They are complete conversation-stoppers. Do not kill my perfectly nice conversation with your scary clown dream.

Weather talk: Ugh, just kill yourself, why don’t you.

I think her others included religion, and politics, although I’m not positive, because those can at least be lively, and her frustration tended to center around boringness (or grossness). Anybody remember this?