Amy Poehler's Failproof 5-Year Plan Involves Gold Bullion

”When you’re 5’2” and you’re blond and you’re a woman, you get underestimated a lot,” Amy Poehler tells Entertainment Weekly in a new interview.

She continues: ”I like being underestimated, though. My grandmother used to say, ‘More than a handful is wasted.’… She was talking about my boobs.” There’s no doubt that Amy Poehler is funny, but there’s an insane amount of pressure on her to succeed: With Parks And Recreation, which premieres tonight, in the coveted timeslot after The Office, everyone will be watching to see if the former Saturday Night Live “Weekend Update” co-host will turn the show into a hit. In an interview with The Daily Beast, Poehler is sure to explain that Parks and Office are each their own thing: “Once you watch the first episode, you’ll realize the different world we’re in. Besides, a lot of people don’t know that there’s a Ukrainian Parks and Recreation that going to come out after ours. So they’re the ones that are gonna have to work hard.” Additionally, costar Rashida Jones points out that the women of Parks give it something The Office lacks: ”There is a female buddy-comedy element to it, which The Office doesn’t have. Our world is a little bigger…. So much of this has to do with this thing that exists outside – a big hole. Get ready to look at a big hole, America!”

Of her character, civil servant Leslie Knope, Poehler tells EW: ”She’s like [Election’s] Tracy Flick meets your soccer coach meets a baby calf. She’s not savvy at all, but she’s smart, she’s capable, she works hard. I want her so badly to succeed. I just wanna pick her up like a little baby and tell her how to flirt with guys and take her away from the Dress Barn.”

As for the early reports that test audiences were “meh” on the show, executive producer Michael Schur does spin control: “By the time we had even gotten the results of the testing back, we had done, like, five more edits of the pilot. The only thing that matters at all is the final product, and it’s going to be very, very different from the version that was thrown in front of a group of people.”

While it would be great if the talented and hilarious Amy Poehler had a hit show, she seems to have a plan if Parks And Recreation fails. She tells the Beast: “Tina Fey and I have 15 things in development: Laverne and Shirley, Starsky and Hutch 3, Cagney and Lacey, Wonder Twins Activate From Two Hot Broads, Little House on the Prairie: The Musical: The Movie.” Plus, she tells EW she has a five -year plan:

“I’m going to take all my money out and invest it in gold. Then melt that gold down and then build a gold hotel. Then have people stay in the hotel, paying only in gold. And then light the whole thing on fire, melt it again, and start from scratch,” she explains. ”That’s my five-year plan.”

Amy Poehler On Her New Sitcom [EW]
Amy Poehler: The Seriously Funny Interview [The Daily Beast]