Ryan Seacrest has chosen to continue to sacrifice valuable sleep hours for the sake of entertainment. He will be back to host American Idol, the show that, like him, is precious and immortal. Seacrest? In.

After being cancelled in 2016, in part due to low ratings, American Idol will return like Casey Affleck in A Ghost Story, determined to haunt us until we cry. Seacrest’s comeback was inevitable—for a while, he’d been in talks with ABC about leading Idol into its next era. He will host two shows, one of which roughly five people are anticipating.

“I’ve got some big news to announce,” Kelly Ripa announced on Thursday’s Live with Kelly & Ryan. “I can confirm with absolute confirmation...that Ryan Seacrest is returning of the host of American Idol.”

Yes, Kelly at first said he’s “returning of the host of American Idol,” perhaps because she momentarily found herself drifting in a cloud of perplexity.

Seacrest then compared his return to a couple of 15 years reuniting after a breakup. “I thought, gosh, it’d be great to get back together at some point,” he said. Ripa charmingly responded, “You know what, you just summarized it. You are the only person who can host this show because you’re the only person who can identify with that scenario.” Yeah, this would only happy to you, Ryan, you lucky overworked bitch! So much money. Anyway, congrats...

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