Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her

Illustration for article titled Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her

I mean, can you blame her?! I am one. Beyoncé is one. Anderson Cooper is one. We’re a good group.

Advertisement

You’re probably pretty thoroughly updated on the ongoing bizarre behavior from the former queen of Nickelodeon, but I’m here to connect a few more dots for you. It seems as though Amanda is trying to transform herself into a dope black woman in order to win Drake’s attention. However, homegirl is struggling, to say the least.

Exhibit A: Blac Chyna

Amanda already told InTouch that her goal is to look like the exotic dancer and mother of Tyga’s progeny. However, I’m guessing that the percentage of the population that fully understands who both Amanda Bynes and Blac Chyna are is a slim one at best. For some reference:

Illustration for article titled Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her
Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her
Illustration for article titled Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her
Illustration for article titled Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her

Yeah. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Drake, who we know Amanda has very romantic feelings towards, holds a deep respect for the stripping industry and has rapped about his special kind of appreciate for Blac Chyna specifically. Amanda is copping Blac Chyna’s steeze to try to get Drake on his knees.

Advertisement

Exhibit B: Rihanna

In a move that seemed to come from beyond left field and all the way from the last space in the parking lot, Amanda Bynes was an unbelievable asshole to Rihanna:

Illustration for article titled Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her
Advertisement

And a hot pocket minute later, she’s gushing about how amazing and beautiful Rihanna is:

Illustration for article titled Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her
Advertisement

Amanda really likes to call people ugly, which is most likely a reflection on her own self-esteem. Let’s be real, Rihanna is a lot of things, but ugly is not one of them. My guess? Perhaps Amanda is feeling a bit of jealousy towards the woman that Drake literally fought a crazy person over.

Exhibit C: Cassie

Illustration for article titled Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her
Advertisement

Mmmhmmm

Illustration for article titled Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her
Advertisement

Now, I can’t think of any specific Cassie/Drake ties, BUT Cassie really has, against all odds, been trucking along with her musical career, which we now know to be Amanda’s new goal:

“I’m looking forward to a long and wonderful career as a singer/rapper!”

Exhibit D: Nicki Minaj

Illustration for article titled Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her
Advertisement
Illustration for article titled Amanda Bynes Wants to Be a Black Woman So Drake Will Love Her

IF TRUER WORDS HAVE EVER BEEN SPOKEN, I HAVEN’T HEARD THEM.

In all fairness, Nicki does have some incredible wigs. Like, if she threw one my way, I wouldn’t be mad about it. Nicki Minaj is that bitch in the rap game right now. How much do you wanna bet that Amanda puts on this raggedy wig and lip syncs to “Starships” in the mirror? Also, Drake has been very public about his feelings (surprise!) for Nicki and they are, of course, both members of the Young Money family.

Advertisement

So what do we have here, people? Is Amanda Bynes so obsessed with Drake that’s she’s literally trying to transform herself into all the women that he loves? Well, yes, I imagine that’s part of it. Mostly, though, it just seems like Amanda really, really wants to be a dimepiece black woman–but really, don’t we all?

There’s obviously nothing wrong with admiring and emulating these bad bitches, but maybe just be happy with yourself AMANDA PLEASE? And if Drake doesn’t love you because you’re not an international pop star or a super stripper, get better wigs and keep it moving.

Advertisement

This post originally appeared on Yo, I'm Just Sayin. Republished with permission. You can follow Kara Brown on Twitter: @KaraRBrown.

Lede image via Pacific Coast News.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

VellamoSaari

A funny (and not ha-ha) thing just happened. I was in the process of responding to a previous comment, which I have included below, when I saw that it had disappeared. The comment, while critical of this post, and indeed of other similar posts, made what I believe to be a valid point. I was in the process of saying as much when the post disappeared. It's possible that the person who posted it took it down herself (I'm assuming it's a her from the username - sorry if that's gender normative!) but I doubt that.

It seems to me that this is starting to be a little bit of trend on Jez. I love this site and have been an avid reader for years. When I was in college the old groupthink helped me through a lot shit. But recently I've noticed that the tone of the site has gotten a lot more snarky. The previous poster had made a comment about how she felt that the tone of the Amanda Bynes coverage on here has gotten to be a bit mean, and not at helpful. I was trying to agree. She seems like a woman with serious problems and Jezebel is supposed to a community that supports people (unless they are super crazy anti-feminist jerks). Amanda Bynes, like Lindsay Lohan before her, needs help. By continuing to give her attention, and in such an unhelpful, body-snarking, and nasty way, we are contributing to the problem societally as well as specifically in her case. Isn't that the antithisis of the Jezebel community's mission?

Sorry about the rant, and I fully expect this to be taken down like the previous post, but I feel like I had to say something (or a lot of things).

For reference SouthernHelle wrote:

I am sorry y'all, but I am so tired of the stories ragging on Amanda Bynes. The girl obviously has some serious shit going on. I don't think all her bizarre behavior is an act. This is feminist blog, where we are supposed to to be able to come and support one another. Lately though, these Amanda Bynes stories have come way too close to completely snarking at and making fun of someone who clearly is in a tailspin.

The girl needs help. Not to be ragged on by us (of all people!)