Image via Twitter.
Image via Twitter.

After waiting patiently through 25 days of faded blue denim, white tops, and a Christmas tree harvested from The Polar Express’s uncanny valley, Kim Kardashian finally revealed her family’s full Christmas card. But the final photo, published Monday night, did not contain what many followers had expected since day 1: a photo of Kylie Jenner showing off her baby bump.


Perhaps we were dumb to be played so masterfully. Perhaps we were dumb to even care about a family’s “25 Days of Christmas”! (Which is definitely not a thing outside of holiday TV scheduling, by the way.) But the frustration for those of us who still find some semblance of pleasure in keeping up with this wretched family remains, and Jenner has yet to comment publicly about her alleged pregnancy.


Maybe the big reveal—if it ever actually happens—will take place on New Year’s Eve. Or New Year’s Day! Or maybe we won’t know until two years from now, when Kim uploads a video of the previously unseen child in F/W 2019-2020 Yeezy kidswear saying, “Hi Earth, I Kylie’s baby.” Then we’ll have to wait until the following Christmas to learn its name.


Meanwhile, here’s a great photo of the couple I desperately want to be seated next to at Christmas dinner standing next to the couple I inevitably get seated next to at Christmas dinner:

Illustration for article titled All We Wanted For Christmas Was a Picture of Pregnant Kylie Jenner, All We Got Was This Shit

[The Daily Mail]

  • The day after Christmas is a slow one for gossip: Exhibit A.
  • The day after Christmas is a slow one for gossip: Exhibit B.
  • Danielle Bregoli did a nice thing and literally cashed her mom ousside. [ONTD]
  • Here’s a video of Courtney Stodden that would almost be funny if it weren’t capable of sinking you into abject despair. [Twitter]
  • There’s no way in hell Tom “I Don’t Even Drink Seltzer Because It’s Bad For You” Brady actually ate these biscuits. [Just Jared]

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man

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