Imagine, for a moment, you are Alec Baldwin. You flew into a rage so onerous, over someone taking your parking spot in Greenwich Village, that you’re arrested and later sentenced to court-mandated anger management. Might this give you some pause? Could this be a moment for reflection? An opportunity to learn how to better handle upsetting emotions? No, if you’re Alec Baldwin, it’s just the first two, because you decide you categorically don’t need anger management classes.
“When you go to anger management, you realize you’re not that angry,” Baldwin told Howard Stern on his show on Wednesday. In other words, if you think he has it bad, Baldwin insists you should get a load of the other guys in his class, like the guy who loses it over getting chopsticks instead of a fork at lunch. That sounds bad, don’t get me wrong! But identifying someone as “impolite bordering on dangerous” for parking in front of your house also seems pretty bad!
Baldwin, to his credits, stays very calm throughout the discussion of his past transgressions—but he’s still a little miffed about the backlash. “Now, I’ve got every fucking numnuts asshole in the world writing to me online, going, ‘Yo, you don’t have a garage? You don’t have a parking garage?’” A suggestion, Baldwin: Log off! It’s good to decompress after a long day of feeling just a little pissed.
Last year, Gwyneth Paltrow entered the CBD and cannabis space, the clearest logical endpoint for Goop and its quest to sell products of dubious nature to the greatest amount of rich people possible. But she won’t succeed in getting her mom to try any of them.
Blythe Danner will not go anywhere NEAR pot (which, I should say, is not the same as CBD), so Paltrow better not try it:
“By the time I got to college, I was a little more adventurous . . . Everybody tried a little pot. But I found out that it made me anti-social and more boring, so I didn’t get into it. I tried it several times and everybody was laughing and laughing — but I was in the corner.”
My heart breaks for this too-stoned, college-aged Blythe Danner? But at least she knows herself and is sticking to it and won’t be swayed by fancy, fun marketing. That’s rare! Nobody puts baby in a corner, nobody.
I highly encourage you to look through all the videos Miley Cyrus posted on Twitter last night, bringing back her Hannah Montana blunt fringe, but this is my favorite one: