Akon Wrote a Song for No Labels About How Centrism Is Very Cool

Illustration for article titled Akon Wrote a Song for No Labels About How Centrism Is Very Cool
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No Labels, the group doggedly preaching the gospel of “bipartisanship” (ie. consensus politics among rich elites untouched by most of the material consequences of their own policies), is also working very hard to cultivate more bipartisanship among its most important constituency: big donors. On Monday, the Daily Beast published a report based on internal documents showing that by the end of the 2018 cycle, No Labels and its affiliated groups had an average contribution of $124,000. This princely sum comes in part from enormous donations from executives in the financial industry, who just so happen to love No Labels.


That No Labels is a sham propped up by wealthy individuals was no secret. But one piece of information buried in the piece did come as a surprise to me:

To get those wealthy individuals to open their wallets, No Labels proposed consensus-building concepts and bipartisan ideas; and they did it all with a touch of glitz. For its launch, it debuted a “No Labels Anthem” recorded by Akon.

That’s right, Akon put out a No Labels Anthem for the groups 2010 launch to help preach the beauties of bipartisanship. “When all this time you could’ve made a difference but you decided to roll with the party,” Akon sings. “Are you kidding me.” Are you??

Here is the accursed chorus:

He’s a democrat
He’s republican
There’s a fight and a race who’s gonna win
Put your differences aside man if you can
Cause there’s way too many people suffering
I wish they didn’t have no labels
There’d be more change with no labels

The song ends with voiceover quotes by Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, John F. Kennedy, and Martin Luther King Jr. You can now find me in the middle.......of a grave because I am now dead.



I once got into an argument with an older relative, she believed that the Southern Hemisphere sees the opposite side of the Moon from the Northern Hemisphere. I told her emphatically that that was not true at all. Her response?

“Well the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle.”

And she felt so smart when she said it, like she had risen above the fray.