From a room inside a funeral home in Michigan not associated with this bog, which as you can see is only concerned with New Jersey.
Image: AP

Everyone only likes to talk about how millennials only like to talk about themselves, destroying many cherished American institutions—such as mayonnaise, Hooters, and “the concept of starter homes”—in the process.

And yet, according to this New York Post article published on Halloween, millennials are not killing mortuaries, in fact, they are reviving them. Maybe for a headline, maybe for real, let’s investigate.

First, millennials don’t think small, or even big, they think galactically, about eternity: “[M]illennials are bringing more to the embalming table than just tech help,” the Post contends. “[Alanna] Henry, for example, wants to change the way we think about death.” Alanna, amazing. The 29-year old Atlantic City mortician told the Post, “I’m hoping to bring more transparency to the field, since it’s seen as taboo and morose.” I totally relate. Alana is proposing educational town halls, and would like to see more TED Talks and podcasts dedicated to mortality.

Laura Bowser, who got her first funeral home gig when she was 16 and is now a 32-year-old funeral director in Piscataway, New Jersey told the Post, “Once I realized that I was not scared of the dead and that I cold take care of them, I [knew I] was just meant to do it.”

Hm, starting to sound like a headline. I see two millennials with jobs. The only other person interviewed is 58 years old, an “industry veteran” named Joseph B. Papavero who dutifully remarks that “the younger generations are more IT savvy.”

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How else does an inflatable pink coffin go viral—not without millennials! You are welcome!