This Christmas pageant seems to be going about as well as children's pageants can go when all of a sudden one kid β€” who mysteriously remains off-camera (in the shadows, as it were, like a super villain) β€” busts out an inarticulate solo, suddenly making the pageant awesome. Or at least worth the small amount of iPad memory that child's parent used to record this proud moment in, "Shit Kids Try (And Mostly Fail) To Say."