Adorable Four-Year-Old Mayor Runs for Re-Election

There are many types of mayors. Some mayors are missing a finger. Some mayors smoke crack. Some mayors have weird hair and make sexist jokes. But in the quaint hamlet of Dorset, Minnesota, the mayor is an adorable 4-year-old named Robert “Bobby” Tufts.

Bobby won the mayoral seat after Dorset’s annual Taste of Dorset Festival, where attendees can vote as many times as they want with $1 ballots (shout out to Citizen’s United!), at the wise old age of 3. He’s running for a second term, rallying his supporters to flock to the polls with campaign cards that feature of picture of himself wearing a fishing vest and slicked back hair.

Bobby, who is known around town as Mr. Mayor, even has a first lady named Sophie. His campaign cards read: “I would love to be your Mayor as much as I love Sophie.” Okay, kid. Try being more like a Hallmark card, why don’t you?

Why does Dorset have a small child with a fondness for fishing as their governor, you ask? It has no formal city government, but more importantly, Bobby’s biggest mayoral decree was declaring ice cream as the top of the food pyramid. “Chocolate. And vanilla. Strawberry. Cotton candy kind. And rainbow sherbet,” said Mayor Bobby. And the crowds went wild.