Photo: Backgrid

Nicholas Hoult, the actor who played an insecure teen who sang “Killing Me Softly” at his school talent show with Hugh Grant’s help in the 2002 classic About a Boy and grew up to be a superhero movie hunk who fucked Colin Firth in a terrible Tom Ford movie and briefly dated Jennifer Lawrence in real life, is now a dad.

Had this baby—whose mother is a model named Bryana Holly (who reportedly dated Leo DiCaprio in 2014)—been covered in the celebrity press with headlines like “Nicholas Hoult’s Girlfriend Bryana Holly Gives Birth to Their First Child,” I would have included it at the bottom of a morning Dirt Bag post. Nicholas Hoult? Some girlfriend I’ve never heard of? Who cares. Plop ‘em in. Give them 10 words. But of all the coverage of this newborn child, these were the headlines that caught my eye:

From Extra:

From Celebitchy:

Now I won’t deny that my eyebrows raised a tad when I saw that on Celebitchy. Huh? I thought. Nicholas Hoult is a dad now and I didn’t even know he was expecting? So the “surprise” part works. But upon further examination I realized no one should be calling this a “secret baby.” There’s a difference between “no one knew” and “no 1 curr,” and folks, this is a prime example of the latter.

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Bryana was seen flaunting that baby bump with Nicholas just last month, and when the most observant parties noticed, they were met with a chorus of yawns. So, in short, a couple had a baby, but it wasn’t a secret. It was just... Nicholas Hoult and Bryana Holly’s. There’s a difference.