A Very Important Study On The Penis Size Of Gay Men

Illustration for article titled A Very Important Study On The Penis Size Of Gay Men

The National Institutes of Health recently did a study to find out how penis size affects the sexual health of gay men.

What did they find out? Oh, so many things! Such as:

Those who felt they had an inadequate penis are more likely to be psychologically troubled and anal receptive—or "bottoms"—while those with larger penises usually identify themselves as "tops."


But there had to have been someone who thought this may not be the best use of taxpayer money in the current economy...right? Right?

The National Development and Research Institutes received taxpayer money from the NIH to conduct the study, beginning in 2006. The NDRI has received funding from taxpayers since 1985 for "behavioral science research on drug abuse, AIDS, and crime," and the penis study reportedly fit into that category.

"We've got nameless, faceless bureaucrats who thought this was a good use of taxpayer money," says the president of the Traditional Values Coalition. "[They] seem to think the American taxpayers are a limitless ATM machine."

Well, that may be true. But certainly this study is of use to someone? We're sure there are some pretty happy horndogs at the NIH right now.

Feds pay for study of gay men's penis sizes [DailyCaller]

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Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark

I'm going to start a new organization called the "Even More Traditional Values Coalition," where we will work on bringing back Hellenistic values to a world gone mad. We'll be all like, "only land holders get to vote," and, "stupid Persians!" But we're going to conveniently forget the pederasty. Not sure yet about the man-love, though.

It'll be awesome.