There have been a lot of bad Halloween movies in recent years. It’s tough to become an instant classic in the genre—not everyone, after all, can be Practical Magic. Nineties-era Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock as witches who murder an abusive man, get away with it and live happily ever after? Flawless cinema! And 2022 might just be the year that another such iconic film joins those hallowed ranks.
This October, Spirit Halloween—yes, the revered costume and prop store with over a thousand locations in North America—alongside Strike Back Studios, Hideout Pictures, and Particular Crowd are reportedly delivering a family-friendly, feature-length movie called, simply, Spirit Halloween.
While the title certainly isn’t winning any awards for creativity, the films boasts Hollywood heavyweights like Christopher Lloyd (hopefully as an eccentric employee) and, on loan from the Hallmark channel, Rachael Leigh Cook (probably as someone’s mom). And the synopsis sounds thoroughly incredible, according to an official description of the film:
“When a new Spirit Halloween store appears in a deserted strip mall, three middle-school friends who think they’ve outgrown trick-or-treating make a dare to spend the night locked inside the store Halloween night. But they soon find out that the store is haunted by an angry evil spirit who has possessed the creepy animatronic characters. The kids embark on a thrilling and spooky adventure in order to survive the night and avoid becoming possessed themselves.”
Say no more! Did someone get ahold of my diary?
Of course, I do like to imagine more adult alternatives for this concept. Perhaps a 20-something-year-old enters a near-soldout Spirit looking for a last-minute costume for a party and is forced to become the 17th woman to show up at the same party as a sexy cat or a racist depiction of a gypsy. Quelle horreur! Or maybe it’s just a documentary about how Barney’s New York, once regarded as one of the most sophisticated stores of all time, was overtaken by a Spirit Halloween seasonal pop-up last year after it went bankrupt. A true horror story for the 1% and undeniably amusing—would watch.
Anyway, filming on Spirit Halloween has now wrapped and yes, come opening weekend, I’ll be in the front row—likely paying homage to Ms. Cook’s portrayal of Lainey Boggs in She’s All That. Hopefully my local Spirit sells paint-stained overalls and horn-rimmed glasses.