When the all-female reboot of the Ocean’s franchise was announced earlier this year, I had high hopes. There could be a strong, powerful woman as Danny Ocean’s sister who recruits only women! A female screenwriter! A female director! Feminine idioms and phrases (i.e. “lady luck,” “a mother of a con”) whenever possible! An opening tracking shot that begins inside the female reproductive system—like the one Look Who’s Talking, but backwards! New York City streets populated exclusively by women and lined only with real-life versions of the cars from Cars, but only the characters who had female voice actors!
But alas, the film is being directed by a man, co-written by a man, and now they’ve gone and added a man to the cast. Empire reports Wednesday that Homeland/Wolf Hall star Damian Lewis will have a major role in Ocean’s 8 as “the target of the robbery.”
They continue:
He’ll actually be Bullock’s former lover who is the subject of a little revenge plan – so we’re going to go ahead and assume he’s not exactly the nicest guy in the world. According to Variety, he’s been spotted on the set and is in a main role, not just a cameo…
I’m so upset. But at least I finished my Ocean’s 8 collage.
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Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.
