If you're interested in seeing a Jezebel editor be an asshole over at Deadspin (as opposed to here, I guess), here's your chance!
But about two seconds later it occurred to me: what kind of father reads Deadspin? Or talks about seashell bras with his daughter? Get it together, friend. If she's old enough to find your bra joke funny, she's old enough for you to be emotionally distant.