A Dudefight Is Brewing Between Woke Bae Matt McGorry and a Sentient Rock

Illustration for article titled A Dudefight Is Brewing Between Woke Bae Matt McGorry and a Sentient Rock

Your woke bae Matt McGorry has gone to bat against an enormous head named Piers Morgan, thereby solidifying his “woke bae” status while fighting valiantly in what will likely be a dudefight bloodbath because duh, it’s Piers Morgan.

Sometime today, Piers Morgan threw up all over his keyboard and the bigger chunks pressed down on the keys in such a way that an article was composed. The name of that article is: “Was Ellen DeGeneres a sexist pig for treating Chris Hemsworth like a slab of meat last night - or was it ‘just a bit of fun’? Time to cut the hypocrisy, ladies, and be consistent about sexism.”

The no-thinking piece reads like an 8th grader who just learned the term “sexist pig” writing in their diary in order to make sure they know how to use “sexist pig” in a sentence. Piers is mad because last night at the People’s Choice Awards, Ellen made a joke and flashed a picture of a shirtless Chris Hemsworth.


Now, the words that flowed from Piers Morgan’s crayon are obviously stupid for reasons that don’t need to be explained in depth because refuting a Piers Morgan argument isn’t hard. Briefly, his entire reasoning necessarily predicates on the idea that men and women are treated equally, ergo, an action by Ellen DeGeneres should be taken the same way as it would be if done by a man. Because, ya know, our entire society has been built on a foundation of female-on-male sexism and we destroyed the patriarchy when ladies got to wear pants in public. So, whatever.

Luckily, Matt McGorry has swooped in to give Piers a talking to about why everything Piers says is bullshit. Woke bae went in and devoted more thought to that dumb article than I am personally able, but god love ‘em. That’s what woke bae’s are for.


It took Piers a little while to respond probably because thinking is hard and the thinking cap he just ordered from the Harry Potter Outlet had to be exchanged due to fit issues.


He countered with this halfway decent mic drop:


This effective if obnoxious response usually works pretty well. The only problem here is that Piers Morgan doesn’t understand what Matt McGorry was talking not because it doesn’t make sense, but because Piers Morgan is not a smart person.

I’ll keep you posted on whether this dudefight becomes an all out DUDE BLOWOUT.

Contact the author at kara.brown@jezebel.com .

Image via Getty.

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"Not a real" DrDonna

If a guy could get pregnant by giving himself head, Piers Morgan would be the resulting child.