You know how people will sometimes ask what you’ve been up to today? And you tell them “nothing,” even though it’s a lie? You definitely did something, and you both know it. But was that something useful? Constructive? Educational? Fuck no!
In honor of the end of daylight savings, here are seven very real ways in which I have squandered the irretrievable hours of my dwindling youth. Please join me by sharing yours in the comments below.
1. Picking the dust out of fan blades, using tweezers. Usually you get just a few motes at a time, but occasionally, they’ll come out pressed into a satisfying little blob. I live for these moments. Some people get high on crack. I prefer the natural high that comes with a well-formed dust package.
2. Trying to pick out a movie on Netflix, but, eventually fatigued with indecision, giving up and watching nothing.
3. Twitter.
4. Finding hip hop choreography to songs I like (usually Pony, but one time, E.T.) and trying to replicate it without raising the suspicion of my downstairs neighbors that I’m committing a very sloppy murder.
5. Washing ALL the brushes!
6. Self-diagnosing myself with diseases I am quite certain I have based on fleeting aches and pains, likely associated with spending so much time hunched over my computer scouring WebMD.
7. Here’s an actual excerpt from a horror story I tried to write and promptly deep-sixed. You’ll see why in a second. I’ll do it in italics, for drama:
“When it rains it turns black, opaque, like a wall of lava rising up and—what? What’s to stop it from continuing up the sandbar, the street, up though the front garden and smashing right through the front window? A black, all encompassing darkness like the inside of a killer’s soul.
I never had nightmares like this in Boston.”
OK your turn!
DISCUSSION
This time last year I was incredibly unhappy with my job and spent my extra hour fine tuning my resume. The mundane stuff was rewritten to sound awesome, powerful and “bottom line” oriented. I sat on that resume for nearly another year due to a whole host of reasons, and frankly, excuses I could come up with out of fear of the unknown. That was until three weeks ago. Found out yesterday I got my dream job. Everybody has a different dream and mine probably sounds lame to many here. I have always wanted to work at a spa. A place where (mostly) women come to feel good about themselves, relax and just enjoy life. It is a far step from finance where I used to work..........and hated.
Anyways, you never know what an hour can bring. Sorry for the long winded post. Just happy beyond belief and rambling in my excitement.